Here are some quotes from several articles in the Philadelphia Inquirer:

After a series of fights between Asian and African American students in the community last week, about 30 Asian students were attacked in and outside the school on Thursday. In some cases, groups of students went from class to class, looking for Asian students to target.

—

Somekawa described students at the school being mocked by staff: ” ‘Where are you from? Hey, Chinese. Yo, Dragon Ball. Are you Bruce Lee? Speak English,’ ” quoting what students had told her.

Troung, the South Philadelphia student, recited a litany of problems with school staff. She singled out the security officers, who she claimed forced Asian students to follow them into a lunchroom where they were attacked and who directed the frightened students to leave school after they were beaten.

Yan Zheng, another student, said that when students were fighting in the lunch room last Thursday, “the lunch lady did not do anything to stop them, and went around cheering happily. . . . The staff shouldn’t just stand there and watch and say, ‘Stopping fights is not my job.’ “

—

Zheng, Jia Rong Lin, and Hang Liu say they were three of eight students targeted during sixth-period lunch on Thursday. In all, there were at least five separate attacks inside school and on the street. Seven students were treated for minor injuries at Methodist Hospital.

The three say they were ready to go to lunch when they heard word that Asian students might be attacked. They worried that it wasn’t safe to go into the lunchroom, but an adult school employee told them they would be fine.

Lin, 16, a ninth grader, was punched repeatedly in the back of his head, he said. Liu, 18, also a freshman, said he was also punched in the head. None of the three know who attacked them or how many students struck them.

It sounds like since the incidents there has been a private investigation launched, criticism of the principal, superintendent and staff, stepped up security which may have thwarted another rumored attack, and all sorts of outrage and finger-pointing. I think I’m most disturbed/intrigued by why the story hasn’t been picked up much by news outlets outside the region. The Times published a puny reprint from the Associated Press. It’s disheartening to consider what combination of races and type of school and district and severity of act would have gotten this story to a larger audience.

“stalked you through K to tell you that i definitely stole $10 from you at our korean bbq dinner. i confused the math A LOT. next time i see you i will give you $10 or equivalent in meats.”

His response really rubbed me the wrong way, even though I know he was just trying to be funny, and apparently he is a wannabe comedian:

An asain that is bad at math! what is this world coming to. Pretty soon porta ricans will not be tricking out honda civics and the French will stop loving Jerry Lewis. Please stay withing your stero types. It is confussion when you don’t.

P.S. I will take the $10 dollars in meat.

I think he got the message that I wasn’t too pleased because I didn’t write him back and I ignored his friend request. We’re totally fine and friendly now, so this is “water under the bridge,” or what have you. But for a week or so after he wrote me I was debating writing a snarky response about his atrocious spelling and how I am indeed very good at math and how his attempt at humor was pathetic, in the end deciding that it would make things awkward for my friend and our mutual friends if I came out of the gate ranting at this guy.

I wish I had addressed things somehow, so that maybe he would reconsider writing that to the next Asian (or French or Puerto Rican) person he meets, and so I would feel like I took action aside from just hoping he would disappear or be given a talking-to by someone else. I’d be interested to hear what other people think would have been an appropriate response.

I eventually saw him again, gave him back his $10, and I know now that he’s a good guy. If he thinks I’m an oversensitive ice queen, I guess I don’t mind.

As is probably clear, the way I process people’s reactions to me as a Chinese American woman ranges from amusement to irateness, and what I personally want to come to terms with through this blog is the exchanges that make me irate. I’m sometimes too caught off guard to respond to the person, and it’s not my nature to tell people off, and ideally I would want to make people aware of their assumptions/stereotypes without resorting to much confrontational language at all.

The experience I’m referring to, which on a small scale is interactions with strangers in which the stranger addresses my race, is on a larger scale the effect over time of a constant stream of such interactions. For me, I have become terribly sad that I am regularly assumed to be a foreigner in my own country; no matter how I speak, or dress, or where I live, the color of my skin is still foremost what some people see and process about me. Then I am also disheartened by assumptions made about Chinese people living in America (i.e. that we live in our specific ethnic enclaves and don’t speak English well). And I am most exasperated by the fact that most of these interactions are between me and a man, oftentimes in the form of a man saying something to my face right as he walks by (ni hao, konichiwa, hey china doll, etc), or saying something as I walk by him, or approaching me when I’m alone. Catcalls are one thing; a race-related comment said at close range can make me feel preyed upon.

And don’t get me started on comments that are tied up with sex and reflect the exoticizing of Asian women.

I don’t want to be the PC Police with everyone, including my friends who sometimes say things that rub me the wrong way. I am simply trying to meet kindred spirits and see new perspectives, not demonize people or places or cry victim or come off as morally superior.

A closing thought. Now that I’m in Hong Kong and, to borrow a term my cousin coined, an “undercover tourist,” it’s a different ballgame. If someone assumes I’m a Hong Kong native, I think, “Cool! I blend in!” And when people ask where I’m from, my reaction is, “Well, you guessed right, I am indeed not from here.” As I know I don’t “belong,” I am not nearly as sensitive about “Where you from?” However, if someone came up to me and said “Konichiwa” salaciously, or something dirty in English, I wouldn’t be too pleased.

I suppose it is often about the person’s intentions, and when I figure out tactful ways to respond verbally to these things, I will of course gauge whether something is said mockingly, out of ignorance, or (sadly) in an attempt to be funny. There’s a big difference between the guy who wants to practice some Chinese words with me at the deli, and the drunk asshole at the bar saying loudly to his friends, “Remember that time we went cruising for Asian girls?”

True story. Le sigh.

One day I was sitting in the little area of tables and chairs by the Macy’s flagship store, and I was crying. One of my co-workers had just taken me outside to tell me that I was being a bitch and that others agreed with him and that I was being condescending to his ally, the project manager. I shouldn’t have started crying, but I did, and he suddenly felt bad and left me there.

A few minutes later, a very friendly and sweet black girl came and sat next to me and asked me why I was crying. She told me she worked at Banana Republic and was on her break.

She eventually told me to cheer up and not let the bad guys see me crying, that they were the ones who had problems and that it sounded to her like they were dating or something. But early on in our exchange she said, “So… are you Chinese? Japanese?”

Yes, Chinese.

Then, “So… you live in Flushing?”

I know I gave her a look then, but I was feeling too vulnerable to be very annoyed. I was really glad that she was talking to me and trying to be comforting. But I hope she doesn’t ask all Chinese people that as a rule. Yes, there are a lot of Chinese people and a large Chinatown in Flushing but not all Chinese people in New York live there!

“Where you from — Japan?”
“No.”
“Korea?”
“No,” I said, and kept walking. It was pretty amusing.

I’m Chinese, you asshole! We’re in Hong Kong!

those who are pregnant

and those being mounted by midgets.

I’m sure that while I’m in Hong Kong I’ll encounter people who are curious about my background, and maybe some who will make comments I find offensive that I haven’t encountered before. But I feel different here, like I’m from America AND from Hong Kong, because so many of the traditions here are so familiar to me. My dualing identities (Chinese and American) both have advantages here.

So in the vein of the last post, I was thinking that if I return to New York I could make T-shirts that say, “I’m not exotic. I’m a fucking person.” Or something similarly standoffish. And maybe the back could say, “My English is better than yours.”

About two weeks before I left, when I was home taking stock of all the things in my apartment I don’t need, a very pungent-smelling guy (it was a very hot day) knocked on my door trying to get me to sign up for a service to lock in my utility bill rates. I couldn’t tell if his accent was African or Caribbean but I didn’t really feel bad about that after our exchange. The only good thing about my opening the door was that his smell drew the mosquito who had been feasting on me for two weeks into the hallway.

He wanted to see my bills and I told him no, I was moving. He said that I should still show him because I could take this service with me to my next place. (Total scam, in my opinion.) So I told him I wasn’t just leaving the building, I was leaving the country.

“Oh, back to China?” he said excitedly.

WTF!!! I didn’t want to say yes, because I was pretty offended that after our short interchange he still didn’t think I was “from” America. I mumbled something about seeing my family. I guess I didn’t want him to think he was right, even though I was indeed going “back to China.”

As a friend of a friend said, I don’t look like a FOB and I don’t talk like a FOB. (She said this after I told her that a stranger in Fort Greene asked me if I spoke English before he started to ask me for money.) There’s nothing wrong with being a FOB, and it’s not even like I’m super proud to be American, but I’m just tired of people thinking I’m OTHER, not FROM here. I was probably more American than him, and spoke better English than him, and he may not have even been an American citizen. I just don’t know what more I can do, besides speaking English properly and understanding American social norms, and dressing like an American, to make people stop assuming I’m from another country. I know that New York is chock full of recent immigrants, but for God’s sake, Americans come in all colors. Why can’t people in New York grow up!

This is part of why I want to live in the Bay Area again. No cabbie there is going to ask me where I’m “from,” and people aren’t going to say “Ni hao” or “Konichiwa” to me as they pass me on the street. Some of it may just be interest, like “I’m not from this country and am curious as to what country you’re from,” but after 9 years it had stopped being quaint and funny.

Now that I’m in Hong Kong, I’m soooo happy to have a break from some of those conversations. It had just gotten to a point where those sorts of exchanges had intertwined themselves with feelings I’d had of being an outsider in New York, of just being different from everyone else. It was all very unhealthy and frustrating. Bye bye, New York.

He told me I was beautiful, etc., then announced he wanted to buy me a drink, which made the bartender point out my oblivious boyfriend who was at the jukebox. The man decided he was going to buy us both drinks, which seemed fine to me. He raised his glass and said something like, “When I look at you, I see a beautiful Chinese girl in an American establishment.”

Um. Thanks? In the end I guess I can’t complain about getting free drinks for being a beautiful Chinese girl in an American establishment.

I’d heard about the Museum of Chinese in America but had never visited. I plan to check it out in the next few weeks and am even more excited that it has gotten a state-of-the-art makeover in a new building designed by Maya Lin.

I won’t be living in New York once it has its grand opening on September 22nd, but I’m still interested to go on a Thursday (for now it is only open that day and admission is free) to see the few things they’ve already unveiled.

Here is a story about the museum and its vision for the future. On Saturday, the museum will host the first Asian American ComiCon, an event brought about by Secret Identities, the comic anthology and now organizing force focused on Asians and Asian Americans in comics. I think it will be awesome, so register to attend if that’s your thing.